Thursday, May 31, 2007
We have some good news. The doctor had called early this morning to tell us that my HcG levels were actually quite high (48,000) which indicate that the pregnancy is probably as far along as we thought (almost 8 weeks). This meant that it was probably ectopic and in need of immediate attention because it could rupture at any time. The Dr. didn't want me to drive, eat, or drink anything. She scheduled a better ultrasound at the hospital at 11:30. We were blessed to have a good friend drop her plans with no notice to babysit- Thanks Jen!! The ultrasound technician wouldn't tell me anything or even let me see the screen which was a bit frustrating and anxiety causing. I finally got a hold of the doctor around 1pm. She told me that the ultrasound confirmed a pregnancy in the uterus- not in the tubes. This is a great relief and means no rupture, no surgery, and no affected fertility. The baby however is much smaller than it should be and there was no heartbeat. The doctor said there's a possiblity the pregnancy could progress, but most likely I will miscarry. For now it's just wait and see. Right now I'm feeling okay. A little dissapointed of course, but also very relieved at the same time. I am confident that God will keep me safe. I am greatful for the 2 kids I have and I am still hopeful that God will bless us with another in his time. Thanks to all for your support, prayers, emails, and calls. They have been a big help and I believe that God has answered prayers for safety. Please continue to pray as we move forward.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Well, I was hoping to add a happy news post today, but we had a bad day. Today I had a first prenatal appointment with my doctor. I was hoping to come say that we are pregnant and everything is good, but it's not. When she did the ultrasound, nothing showed up. She was trying to be optimistic and said that my dates are probably wrong and it's just too early to see anything. But I'm pretty confident on the dates. She did find a cyst on my ovary- which happens every time you get pregnant, but nothing else. The bad news is that it is possibly an ectopic pregnancy which baby can not survive and is also dangerous for me. An ectopic (tubal) pregnancy can rupture at any time and cause a lot of pain and internal bleeding. So, they ran blood tests to check my HcG (hormone) levels and plan to check them again on Friday. If it is an ectopic pregnancy they may be able to treat me with Methotrexate which can help dissolve and flush out everything. If the baby has already grown too big or if the tube ruptures they will have to do surgery. Either way there may be some recovery time physically and emotionally. I am feeling a bit sad about loosing a baby, but I'm mostly just scared of having something rupture. Please pray for my safety and that God would use this for good. I remember the blessings I already enjoy- especially my first two babies who are beautiful and wonderful (and not so much babies anymore!)
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Saturday, May 19, 2007
So last week Jacob performed in his first recital at First Covenant Preschool. It was adorable and hilarious. We discovered that Jacob is one of those kids that make us teachers sigh. During his performance he was squirrely and off-task; just being a complete goofball. At one point he was standing next to an even goofier boy in class and the teacher had to separate them. Isn't it just so appropriate for Jeff and I as classroom teachers to have that kid be OUR kid?!! Check him out by clicking on his video at the right!
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Today I was so scared. While at Chevy's on the River, the sweet Daddies offered to take the kids down to the river to see the Ducks. Jeff kindly took Jacob without complaint and I enjoyed a few minutes of peace to chat with the girls. But, the peace was shattered when I was told that Jacob was missing. I looked out the window to see Jeff in the parking lot with no Jacob in sight. This is when I became a mother bear. I passed Keilani off to another mom and ran downstairs in a panic. Jeff said Jacob ran up the stairs and when he reached the top Jacob was nowhere to be seen. I was frantic and screaming for Jacob. It was probably less than a minute before we were told he was found- upstairs looking for Mommy. In those few gut-wrenching seconds I managed to envision Jacob hit by a car, kidnapped, and drown in the river. The hormonal, raging mother bear in me came out- and Jeff got the brunt of it when I yelled that he was a bad father. My poor hubby who had been so sweet to take Jacob down to the river was repaid with my viscous words. I couldn't say sorry enough. I know he forgave me, but I also know that words cut to heart and aren't easily forgotten. I wish I could just rewind time and do it right, but I can't.